Thursday, June 30, 2011

What goes up

You know the rest

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Damn Shoes

I have a hard time not laughing at this one either.  The wobbles are just too much, she just goes from side to side over and over.

Sucks I had to grab this from ebaumsworld, but no one at youtube would let me embed.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Cop's National Anthem

This is one of my favorite YouTube videos.  I've never been able to make it through the whole thing without laughing.  See how far you can get.

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Monday, June 27, 2011

Bagelheads. Or Donuthead if Bagel's Aren't Your Thing

In efforts to over the top everyone, Japanese street culture is embracing what I'm calling bageling. It's an activity for sport, not a permanent mod. You want to see how it's done?

1.Use a saline bag, tube and needle, similar to one that you'd see in a hospital IV drip. 
2.Place the needle  under the skin ( not in a vein) so the o-shaped ring with puff up underneath and not burst your blood vessels like a Ren and Stimpy episode.
Your head gets really full, like you're experiencing a migraine or sinus pressure. Ooh, same miserable allergy symptoms without the allergen. This sounds great!
3. Once you've reached your desired puffiness, you can manipulate the circles to your desired level or weirdness. Even though pumping saline under the skin has little risk, some people have permanently stretched their epidermis by bageling on the regular. I'm taking the risk of being culturally insensitive: this is bizzaro.  You can give yourself a five-head, put it in your neck and give yourself gills or below the waist and you'd need a ball bra. I'll just be a spectator folks...

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Friday, June 24, 2011

Delta Airlines Wants You to Piss Off!

If you don't, well they'll pee on your clothes. After royally messing up this man's luggage route, a friendly neighborhood Delta employee decided to take a whiz inside thi suitcase. How bad was the screw up? See how many fails you find in the next sentence. The luggage was sent from London to the incorrect US city, back across the pond, traversed back to the states to the wrong city, peed on, and was finally delivered to the correct US destination. I counted 4 fails in for one trip. Delta is a screw up away from landing on my list of businesses who services are so bad they should be free.

Just watch below, poor chap:

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Thursday, June 23, 2011

CAPTCHA Say what?

It seems many of the places we visit now are requiring a CAPTCHA to do the easiest thing.  First it was just letters we had to type, then one word. We progressed to one word with multiple contrasting backgrounds behind it. Now, you get illegible shapes and double-typed blurry mess.  Am I supposed to be able to read the first word at all?

Glad they give you an option to roll to the next one or we'd all be screwed. This beats the time I got a captcha in upside Hebrew, no joke.  I can't wait to see what's next.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Rebecca Black You Are Not

In order to get attention for her fledgling 'music' career '16' year old Courtney Stodden has married 51 year old actor Doug Hutchison in where else? Viva Las Vegas!
I know women lie about their age but this is over the top, even for Hollyweird. I'm not trying to call her out, but this has to be a joke, right?

There isn't a creative name for the Ke$ha, Heidi Montag, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton music genre because it's viral advertising for their brand. While I don't see how the aforementioned are useful or talented in any, they are undeniably successful and have already seen enough money to buy and trade my humble existence. I don't see things going in that direction for this gal. I highly doubt she'll be offered any ad campaigns, unless it's for Playboy or Viagra testimonials. If you haven't already, check out the ingenue's latest commercial song here:

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Didn't get the invitation?

I'm not sure, but it seems from some of the expressions in this picture someone wasn't invited to the party?  Can you guess who?

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Monday, June 20, 2011

Knock Offs, Big Lots Style Baby

What you know about that Mitchel Gordon? Can't knock my hustle.

Bam, bam bam Bamberry!

As in the acclaimed feature length 'One Night in Paris' film? At least this one makes a little sense.

Seen any particularly awful knocks off lately? Let me know on the facebook

Friday, June 17, 2011

You are Not my Friend: 6 Million Strong

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook founder and CEO, dur...Image via Wikipedia

Hey trips! Sorry about the lack of post's lately. It's been a busy week for me, so much so that I swear I did Wednesday twice. I'm going to get back on the ball or something like that. For your weekend viewing pleasure:

The Zuckerberg has been defriended a record 6 million times this month by US facebookers, and 2 million in Canada. That's not looking  good for the best spyware tool ever made. The facebook monster is almost 700 million worldwide but skeptics, like myself of course, believe it's time for the next best thing. Tag anyone? No really, check out it's a game changer.

The book is a place where I post pictures and stories, spy on people I don't care about, spy on people I do care about, and receive birthday reminders. If it disappeared tomorrow I'd notice but I wouldn't care in the next 24. I would miss reading seemingly innocuous comments turn into knock down drag out wars between 'friends'. Much like blackplanet, the book has become a unbridled battlefront for broken marriages, job losses, popularity contests, a cesspool of drama...much like real life but in the virtual kingdom for all to peruse. I get sick of my own problems within the tiny social realm I maintain- so I keep it in my real life. Most of my 'darkly dreaming' inner status updates are only revealed in a fleeting smirk.  Even if I felt that way, I'd never post how much I hated the world and wanted to go all Donnie Darko on it's ass. Luckily for us, there are whole websites dedicated to the art of social media fail.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Go the !*#k to Sleep, Read by Samuel L Jackson

Samuel L. JacksonImage via Wikipedia
The terribly ironic kid's book for adults, Go the !*#k to Sleep is out to purchase in book stores everywhere.Oh boy. But wait you can listen to the one and only Samuel L Jackson read it like the script to Pulp Fiction here, it's an omg exclusive! No not really, but it makes a bad idea into a win, so I'm game:

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Cripple With Swag: Youtuber Goes Viral

Words escape me...And no I'm not being socially elitist that's really this youtuber's name 'cripple with swag.' She has no arms or legs but- I'll let her tell you:

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Monday, June 13, 2011

Lol Best Buy Thinks it Owns the Word Geek

Geek Squad logoImage via Wikipedia

Best Buy is the new T-Mobile, Bank of America, CitiGroup ie companies whose services are so dreadful they should be free. If T-mobile can try to earmark the color magenta then by golly Best Buy can own the word geek! The whinefest began with a Newegg's ad. It showed a dim witted  Best Buy employee unable to answer a basic comparative question about 2 laptops. Newegg quickly comes to the rescue showing their superiority with their expert reviews and overall I'm better than you awesomeness. The rebuttal? Best Bully sent a cease and desist letter over the commercial claiming Newegg couldn't use the new mantra 'Geek on' because the word geek is theirs. Newegg is lol-ing all over the place with this one, quickly posting the letter in it's entirety on their Facebook page. Do you think Best Buy stepped over the line? (of course you do!) Nerd, I mean-geek drama, I live for this stuff.

The resplendid commercial that started it all:

via the consumerist
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Friday, June 10, 2011

Original Ronald McDonald was Terrifiying

As if clowns weren't scary enough... Eat your heart out Jigsaw, Ronald McDonald did it FIRST! The video below has all the proof you need, his skip hop side jig dance thingy is killing me:

 Actor Willard Scott had hat which was a tray of food, a cup for a nose and an additional food tray on his belt which fabricates 3 burgers at a time. It's like the Zodiac Killer who's dangerously low on Prosac. This totally explains why his image has revamped tenfold, look at what the creators had to work with it. I'm glad they were able to phase most of his creepy subtexts. Otherwise Chuck E. Cheese may have competition for the most violent children's eating establishment.

If you want more OG Ronald, click here. 

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Countdown to Breakdown: Chris's Latest Fail

Chris's path of violence and idiocy is well documented and equally deplorable. Consequently his decision making (which involves doing the polar opposite of what his management tells him to do)  floors me. Like publicly buying makeup but dissing men for being effeminate, wearing bling fit for Toddlers in Tiaras, or having constant wild fraternity-ish parties in your swank Hollywood condo. So his Jack Skellington meets Hannibal Lector smiley face tattoo shouldn't surprise me...but it does. No wonder his newest manager quit him like a bad habit after only 8 weeks of working with him.  Chris has to be criminally insane. No one makes this many terrible choices without the help of hundreds of little voices.

via gawker
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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Yeah No: Pistol Dog Leash

A company named Povodokus is pitching the idea of a dog leash that looks like you are shooting a stream of blood while walking freckles around the block. The cape crusaders of PETA will have a field day, no event, with this one. I give props to the apathetic male model, he looks like he's willing the gun leash to life. Look at the intensity in his face, at least he committed. Concepts hustle to become the next trend setters but this completely misses the mark. The majority of cookie cutter dog owners living in Suburbia Hell can't pull off the friendly American Pyscho with a pistol dog leash. And if even they could, why would you want too? I love my pets. Owning this leash makes it look like I'm a step away from dissecting their limbs and tossing them in my Slap Chop.

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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Gotta Get Back In Time

Trips, this is not how you go back in time.  It appears the someone has been watching too many movies.  I bet she wasn't even doing 88.

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Power Up!: Worst Playground Equiptment of All Time

The spinning mushroom of death. The monster who engineered this was furious that his poisonous mushroom idea (that would make you lose a life instead of gaining one) wasn't welcomed by the Super Mario Brothers creators. So he took his ire out on a Swedish playground..yeah that's a bit of a stretch I know. This is more like a failblog generator in real life! Power up:

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Monday, June 6, 2011

The Money Shredding Alarm Clock

Putting the time is money phrase to the test. Or to quote Geekologie: "Yeah, No." This little doozy suxs for you and your wallet. I hope it makes a sonically loud 'brrrrrriiing!' sound or I'm going to be out of rent money, quick!  The lil' illegal  concept alarm clock is clever but I wouldn't suggest this for college students or anyone else planning a day before work bender. A creature of habit, I would still hit the snooze button a minimum of 5 times. I would just put files I've been meaning to shred in there, unless this device is clever enough to detect when you're trying to scheme it with faux dough. And if it's that smart, then someone like me has no reason pre-ordering it. Will you purchase this when/if it comes out?

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The Forever Alone Pillow

This is unfair. Why does this pillow have to be marketed to women only? What if women want a hippie male pillow to snuggle up too? Trekkie? (hey that's someone's fantasy) The corporate boss pillow is pretty universal but it isn't as sexy as it could be. It actually isn't sexy as at all, sleek seductive products don't make it on here. Do you know anyone you'd order this for?


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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Comfort and Style?

I got this SPAM in my junk mail this morning.  The advertisement isn't really bad, but the Photoshop or GIMP skills here are a bit lacking.  SPAM should have a fit and finish above the rest since it's supposed to lure you in with flashy graphics and promises of cheap airline tickets.  Let's hope this image is not a representation of their inventory, she should not have to choose between a size 6 Keds and a size 11 Klog.

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Friday, June 3, 2011

Teen sells Kidney for Ipad2?!

Unbeknownst to me, selling organs virtually is commonplace in mainland China. But for an Apple Ipad 2? Really? I'd sell/trade my kidney for a  vital organ that wasn't part of a pair. Like my heart but not for a piece of technology that will outdate itself in six months. That's bad bartering and just plain crazy.

The lad, a 17 year old going by the name of Zheng, was unable to keep the secret from his mother. When he came home with the device, she demanded to know where he got the money for it. Zheng spilled the beans and now it's made world news.

Thankfully the Chinese government is making a determined effort to shut down this organ racketeering.
So trips, what would you do for an Ipad2?

Image via makeuseof

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Boutaoshi: Japanese for Gladiators

This, my friends, is the making of warriors. I've watched this video several times and I still don't know what the heck is going on. The Japanese version of capture the flag? This looks brilliantly barberic and extremely dangerous. Reliable internet sources say the objective is for a team to defend their pole for 2-3 minutes. If the pole tips 30 degrees or more for three seconds the defending team loses. Ok simple enough. The reason it's here is the danger factor. And that I'd give my arm to play and would probably lose it within the first 15 seconds.

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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Make Believe, your personal information is safe

Image representing Sony as depicted in CrunchBaseImage via CrunchBase

What is going on with Sony's security?  They've been hacked yet again by LulzSec.
LulzSec announced Thursday it hacked servers at Sony Pictures and Sony BMG. The group posted what appear to be the stolen e-mail addresses and passwords of about 50,000 consumers who’d registered for one of three Sony promotional sweepstakes: last year’s “Seinfeld — We’re Going to Del Boca Vista!” giveaway, a January contest Sony conducted with AutoTrader, and a Sony contest to promote the film Green Hornet

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Friends Forever?

This has been floating around the internet for a little while now but it still creeps me out. Is this an aged picture for a movie? Did they originally place I-Robot in '72 but decided to scrap the idea? The two boys must be actors, I don't see how anyone who has looked into those steely eyes and remain calm.This is terrifying, I feel like the bot is draining me of my thoughts and emotions and replacing them static.

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USPS Phantom Accident

How do you get into a traffic accident without no driver going backwards at less than 5 miles per hour? Here's how:


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